Facebook CEO Mark Zuckerberg finally broke his silence over the Cambridge Analytica data breach, taking responsibility for Facebook’s role. Among the reforms Facebook is introducing in response, Zuckerberg says, is “a tool at the top of your News Feed [that shows] the apps you've used and an easy way to revoke those apps' permissions to your data.” Facebook will also revoke the access developers have to your information if you haven’t used their apps in over three months. But when will Mark Zuckerberg apologize for Farmville? Bring back MySpace.
Saudi Crown Prince Mohammed Bin Salman (MBS) reportedly bragged that Jared Kushner was “in his pocket” after Kushner shared information that he may have learned from classified intelligence about Saudis who were disloyal to MBS during a struggle for power in the country. A week later, the country began a massive “anti corruption sweep,” and locked up dissenters in a Ritz Carlton. This does NOT sound good, but we’d really appreciate it if someone photoshopped Jared Kushner poking out of a grown man’s pocket. Wait, why don’t we do that? Oh cool, we did do that!
George Nader, a cooperating witness in Mueller’s investigation, lobbied a top Trump fundraiser on behalf of Saudi Arabia and the United Arab Emirates. Nader and fundraiser Elliott Broidy pushed the White House to fire Rex Tillerson and to increase pressure on Iran and Qatar. We suspect Mueller’s team is very interested in this story, and it’s another reminder why you shouldn’t put your idiot son-in-law in charge of foreign policy.
Trump’s announcing at least $50 billion worth of tariffs and penalties on China tomorrow. Thankfully, an economic expert told us trade wars are easy to win.
A judge has temporarily blocked the newly signed Mississippi law that bans women from getting abortions after being pregnant for 15 weeks—the nation’s earliest abortion ban. The only abortion clinic that exists in the state sought the temporary restraining order from the Court.
Also in Mississippi, GOP Governor Phil Bryant named former Democrat-turned-Republican Cindy Hyde-Smith to replace GOP Sen. Thad Cochran, who is stepping down April 1 because of health problems. She will be the first woman to ever represent Mississippi in Congress.
Starbucks is offering $10 milion for ideas on how to make better, more recyclable cups. FYI: Coffee cups are “an environmental nightmare” that take 20-ish years to decompose, so if you give a shit about the planet you should probably invest in a Crooked Media branded mug, $15 before taxes and shipping—wow what a deal!!!!!!!