BY BRIAN BEUTLER, PRIYANKA ARIBINDI

& CROOKED MEDIA

Monday, September 9, 2019

—Chrissy Teigen 2 - Donald Trump 0

A CORRUPTING INFLUENCE

President Trump’s efforts to use the federal government to advance his personal financial or political interests have accelerated on so many different fronts last week, it can be hard to keep track of them all. 

Here’s the latest:

• Commerce Secretary Wilbur Ross threatened to fire National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration officials for issuing correct hurricane forecasts, instead of backing Trump’s false claim that Hurricane Dorian posed a threat to Alabama. His threat prompted NOAA to issue an unsigned Friday statement disavowing its own scientists. 

• The Department of Defense has spent millions of dollars to refuel military aircraft at a struggling commercial airport near Trump’s golf resort in Turnberry, Scotland, and military air crew members have in at least one instance spent the night at the resort. (Last week, we learned Vice President Mike Pence and his entourage stayed at Trump’s resort in Doonbeg, Ireland, 180 miles from his official meetings in Dublin, at Trump’s suggestion.)

• Trump reportedly denied Ukraine’s new president, Volodymyr Zelensky, a White House reception and froze $250 million in military aid to Ukraine “to force Mr. Zelensky to intervene in the 2020 U.S. presidential election by launching an investigation of the leading Democratic candidate, Joe Biden.” The State Department has also facilitated Rudy Giuliani’s efforts to coerce the Ukrainian government into launching the baseless investigation. 

• The antitrust division of the Justice Department has launched an investigation of four car companies that agreed to meet California’s emission standards, seemingly because the agreement infuriated Trump, who has set about to weaken Obama-era federal emissions standards. 

How has the system responded? It’s a bit of a mixed bag. The scientific leaders of NOAA and the National Weather Service have stood up for their agencies and seem intent on pushing back. Good! The House Oversight and Reform Committee has reportedly been investigating military spending at Trump properties for months. Also good! The House Foreign Affairs and intel committees have launched an investigation of Trump’s efforts to enlist Ukraine to interfere in the 2020 election. Good times three! And on Monday, the House Judiciary Committee intends to formalize rules for its ongoing and growing impeachment inquiry this week. All positive developments.

But some House Democratic leaders—yep, you guessed it!—remain opposed to the impeachment process, and have reportedly suggested they might allow the Judiciary Committee to complete its inquiry, then decline to let the whole House vote on articles of impeachment. That would send a strong signal that the party just doesn’t care much about all of this terrible corruption. It’s up to us to let Democrats know that outcome would be unacceptable.

The CIA exfiltrated one of its highest-level covert sources inside the Russian government from Russia in 2017, during Mike Pompeo’s tenure as CIA director, because intelligence officials worried President Trump would disclose the agent’s identity to Vladimir Putin or one of his subordinates.  

The officials made this decision shortly after a May 2017 Oval Office meeting between Trump, Russian Foreign Minister Sergey Lavrov, and then-Russian ambassador to the U.S. Sergey Kislyak, during which Trump disclosed extremely sensitive intelligence to the men. It remains unclear whether the CIA’s chief concern was Trump’s sloppiness or the possibility that he’s been compromised by Russia specifically, but if it was the former, why did we only exfiltrate one Russian spy? If the issue is that Trump is generally reckless, shouldn’t we be rescuing spies around the globe?

Hey NYC! Come hang with Jon Lovett this Friday, September 13, at Radio City Music Hall. That's right—Lovett or Leave It made it big. And that’s not all. Look at who we're bringing with us.

We’ve got Stacey Abrams, Desus & Mero, Wyatt Cenac, Alyssa Mastromonaco, and Dulcé Sloan. Eat shit, Rockettes. 

Come see us LIVE → go.crooked.com/radiocity

North Carolina will hold a special election Tuesday to select a representative for state’s ninth congressional district. The seat has been vacant all year because the campaign for last year’s Republican candidate Mark Harris engaged in extensive ballot fraud, prompting the State Board of Elections to invalidate the results and schedule a new election. Now Democrat Dan McCready (the good Dan) faces Republican Dan Bishop (the bad Dan). Though President Trump won this district handily in 2016, polling suggests the race is extremely close. Have a couple minutes? Make a few calls to give Dan McCready the last push he needs →

President Trump abruptly and publicly cancelled a previously undisclosed meeting at Camp David between himself, Taliban leaders, and Afghanistan’s president after the Taliban claimed responsibility for an attack that killed a U.S. soldier last week. Now Trump says the peace process is “dead.”

Attorneys general for 50 U.S. states and territories have announced a broad antitrust investigation of Google, which has long faced criticism for engaging in anticompetitive business practices. 

Hurricane Dorian has left approximately 70,000 people on Grand Bahama and Abaco islands homeless, and at least 43 people have been confirmed dead, though that number is expected to rise dramatically. On Sunday, over 100 Bahamians trying to escape the devastation were ordered off a ship heading to Florida because they didn't have visas to come to the U.S.—even though Bahamians only need valid passports to enter the country. According to Trump, this is because he ‘[doesn’t] want to allow people who weren’t supposed to be in the Bahamas to come into the U.S., including some very bad people.” Wow, wonder what he could mean by that. 

Former Gov. Mark Sanford (R-SC) officially launched a presidential primary campaign against Trump. Sanford doesn’t actually expect to win, but he “[thinks] we need to have a conversation on what it means to be a Republican.” Not wrong, but he won’t even be able to compete in his own home-state because South Carolina is among the states that announced it will not hold a Republican primary in 2020. 

Period tracker apps share sensitive data about women’s sexual practices and health, including data about their contraception choices, the timing of their periods, symptoms, and sexual activity, with Facebook and other third party groups. Good thing “apps” and “Facebook” have never lost people’s data or abused their privacy.

The director of MIT’s Media Lab resigned after he got caught trying to hide financial connections to Jeffrey Epstein. Joichi Ito received $1.7 million from Epstein, including $1.2 million for his own outside investment funds. 

The Oakland Raiders released wide receiver Antonio Brown on Saturday. But hours later he reportedly signed a one-year, $15 million deal with the New England Patriots, with a $9 million signing bonus. This brings an end to weeks of antics, including posting an Instagram video of a phone call with the Raiders’ head coach, and missing large portions of training camp because of a helmet dispute with the NFL and a foot injury in a cryotherapy chamber. 

There’s a nationwide White Claw shortage, according to White Claw, which is definitely not trying to create a run on White Claw! (We will be stockpiling all Black Cherry and Mango.)

Tens of thousands of protesters in Hong Kong marched on the U.S. Consulate to call on the Trump administration to support their ongoing pro-democracy protests. The protestors want Congress to pass a bipartisan bill called the “Hong Kong Human Rights and Democracy Act 2019,” which would make Hong Kong’s special trading status with the U.S. conditional on an annual audit of its autonomy from mainland China.

The Chinese government and state-run media has accused the U.S. of fueling the protests, though President Trump has shown little interest in the issue. Other U.S. politicians who aren’t hostile to democracy believe that the U.S. should do more to support the protestors.

A Florida elementary school student who’s a University of Tennessee superfan wanted to rep his favorite team during his school’s “College Colors Day,” but he didn’t have any merch, so he made his own by drawing the school’s logo onto a piece of paper and pinning it onto an orange shirt. According to his teacher, after other kids made fun of his DIY shirt, and he was devastated. 

(This gets better, trust us.)

The teacher took matters into her own hands and solicited official gear for the student on social media. Before long, U.T. sent him a full care package, AND decided to turn his design into an official school t-shirt, with a promise to donate a portion of the proceeds to an anti-bullying foundation.

Demand for the shirt was so high that it crashed the school’s online store.

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